Christian Marriage; Jesus and General Convention!

                             

QUESTION FROM THE DIOCESE OF FLORIDA MEET AND GREET

Marriage was not invented by Christ  and we have no credible evidence that he himself was married. However, he gave a very specific meaning and significance to marriage which any conversation about the theology of Christian marriage has to seriously consider. 

Christian marriage is first and foremost defined by the words of the Lord Christ as we find them recorded in the gospels and the later teaching of his apostles

Matthew 19: 3-6, Mark 10:6-9: 

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and, ‘For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh"

The apostle Paul makes the same reference in his discussion about marriage in Ephesians 5:28-32 

“For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."

Here are the pertinent verses in Genesis:

Genesis 1:27 "So God created man in His own image; in the image of God.  male and female He created them.  Then God blessed them"

Genesis 2:23-24 "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame."

It is from these simple verses, the creation story, Christ’s explicit reference to it, and the Apostle’s teaching in the New Testament, that we begin the conversation about what Christian marriage means! We must begin with what marriage meant to Christ!

In congruency with these words the Book of Common Prayer reads; …

"The bond and covenant of marriage was established by God in creation" It signifies to us the mystery of the union between Christ and his Church, Holy Scripture commends it to be honored among all people The union of husband and wife in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and, when it is God's will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord"

Here are some simple ideas as to the purposes of marriage found in Scripture:

Marriage is for companionship: Genesis 2:18  "And the Lord God said, "It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him."

 

Marriage is for children: Genesis1:27-28  "God created man in His own image; male and female He created them. God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply" 

 Marriage is for Sex:  1 Corinthians 7:14-15 "...Each man should have sexual relations with his own wife and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband...."

Marriage is for Holiness:  1 Peter 3:7 " Husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God's gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.", Ephesians 5:21 "Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ." 

Marriage is for life:  Matthew 19:4-6 "...They are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." 

 

Marriage in our society is evolving! In 2015 the US Supreme Court granted equal access to marriage to same-sex couples! It was Justice Kennedy who said in that case…"They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law," "The Constitution grants them that right." 

I and most Episcopalians agree with this! People in society have the right to regularize, protect, and solemnize their relationships with the person they love! 

In the same year, following the US Supreme Court decision. the Episcopal Church's General Convention approved the trial-use liturgies for marriage that made it possible for same-sex couples to wed in the Episcopal Church, and in 2018 made it possible for any couple civilly able to marry to do so in any diocese of TEC.  

Christ spoke of marriage as a covenant between a man and a woman, a husband and a wife! 

Our General Convention has made a “clear decision” that Christian marriage can be a covenant between two people irrespective of gender! It is a complicated place to be! 

There is of course the rejoicing that our LGBTQIA siblings are able to legally recognize their relationships in civil society and have access to the sacraments and blessing of the church in their committed unions! Yet there are the clear words of Christ that define the particular relationship we call marriage in the church!

Perhaps we lack the language, or the theology, and lump human relationships into one neat box considering only common elements, over their uniqueness! Same-gender and opposite-gender relationships have love as a common element but have demarcated differences some of which are biologically based. 

Perhaps there is an implicit bias in the way we look at human relationships, a push to heteronormativity, where relationships have to fit into a particular mold in order for us to think of them as blessed…so it has to be marriage or bust! 

Can we as Christians and Episcopalians live and minister in the same Church while holding diverging convictions about the sacrament of marriage? 

Our polity urges us to, but whether we can do so and mutually flourish, only time will tell!

Blessings

Seraph