Ray Boltz...In his Own Words!

“I thought I hid it really well...”

“I didn’t know people could see what I was going through, the darkness and the struggle. After I came out to my family, one of my daughters said she was afraid to walk in my bedroom because she was afraid she’d find me — that I’d done something to myself. And I didn’t even know they’d picked it up.”

“I thought, ‘Well, I can just do what I always do and hide the truth or I can take a risk and be honest.It’s hard to say I came out because I didn’t have all the answers. I just admitted what I was struggling with and what I was feeling. It’s hard to go, ‘This is the point where I accepted my sexuality and who I was,’ but I came out to them and shared with them what I’d been going through.”

“I’d denied it ever since I was a kid. I became a Christian, I thought that was the way to deal with this and I prayed hard and tried for 30-some years and then at the end, I was just going, ‘I’m still gay. I know I am.’ And I just got to the place where I couldn’t take it anymore … when I was going through all this darkness, I thought, ‘Just end this.’”

“You get to be 50-some years old and you go, ‘This isn’t changing.’ I still feel the same way. I am the same way. I just can’t do it anymore. I basically lived an ‘ex-gay’ life — I read every book, I read all the scriptures they use, I did everything to try and change.”

“I was so good at pretending/like an actor on a stage/but in the end nobody knew me/only the roles that I portrayed/and I would rather have you hate me/knowing who I really am/than to try and make you love me/being something that I can’t” (from “God Knows I Tried”).

It is hard to know what to say to words like these other than to offer prayers to God for Ray and his family.

This too is a truth we Christians probably would rather not hear about! It does not seem to fit in with our reading of the Bible or our neat formulas for "a life victorious" , going from "glory to glory" or being "overcomers"! Yet there are those among our loved ones or acquaintances who have felt similarly isolated and afflicted.

May God give us the grace to be attentive to their stories, sensitive to their needs, partners in prayer and quick to offer consolation instead of judgement.

Blesings

Seraph

Pregnant Palin....!

The world is ending !!! OMG Palin’s pregnant!!!!!!

Her 17 year old teen daughter that is!

The blogosphere is teeming with jokes, rumors, innuendoes, judgment and predictions of doom for McCain and Palin’s candidacy….mercy me conservatives are doomed!!

One would think some of these people did not live in 21st century America, where teenage pregnancy, independent of knowledge or availability of contraception, is rampant.

Maybe it is the cries of the childless we are hearing! Anyone who has ever raised teenagers knows there comes a point when they have to make their own choices! Parents can not staple their pants to their bodies nor put them in chastity belts…!Some kids, even from stable Christian families, choose to have sex before marriage whether parents approve or not …get real!

As I read predictions of the Alaskan governor’s demise among evangelical and Christian voters it dawns on me …many do not understand Christians or our concept of grace. People are human, they will not always make the best choices, but in an ideal world they will take responsibility for them.

In this difficult situation for the Palin family it seems they have tried to handle their private situation with grace. Their pregnant 17 year old daughter is assured of their love and support , even as she is realizing how life is changed when a girl becomes a mother. What more can be expected?

Interestingly, a contrast can be seen here between candidates and their concepts about children! Barack Obama, in his support of abortion, has said if his daughter were to become pregnant as a teenager he would not want her to be punished with a baby. Sarah and her daughter, as many Christians, seem to have seen it differently…children, even those unplanned are not a punishment, they can turn out to be a blessing!

Yes….its true, there is a pregnant Palin…big deal!!!! More power to the VP!!! For her and her family we wish nothing but the best and assure them of our prayers.

Blessings

Seraph

Grace for Gustav

Hurricane Prayer

Father, all the elements of nature obey your command. Calm the storms and hurricanes that threaten us and turn our fear of your power into praise of your goodness. Grant this through our Lord Jesus Christ, Your Son, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever. Amen.

Our prayers for all of those in the Gulf Coast and Lousiana!

Blessings

Seraph